1.        "I think not," said Descartes, and promptly disappeared.
  3.        Aibohphobia - The fear of palindromes
  4.        All men are born equal. The tough job is to outgrow it.
  5.        All power corrupts, but we NEED electricity.
  6.        Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key
  7.        Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  8.        Common sense is the least common of all senses.
  9.        Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
10.        Do not believe anything I haven't said
11.        Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die
12.        Have I found God? What? Did you lose him AGAIN?!
13.        Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which you can die.
14.        Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch?
15.        I still miss my wife - but my aim is improving!
16.        I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am!
17.        If your parents didn't have children, odds are that you won't either.
18.        Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
19.        Lead me not into temptation; I can find it myself.
20.        Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
21.        Money talks: Mine says goodbye!
22.        On the other hand, you also have 5 fingers.
23.        Psychotherapist is also Psycho The Rapist
24.        Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
25.        The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
26.        The cost of feathers has risen, now even DOWN is UP!
27.        There IS intelligent life in the universe... It ignores us...
28.        Vuja De - The Feeling You've Never Been Here
29.        Women DO come with instructions. Just ask them!
30.        I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Signs that you are no longer young:

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car/truck.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You answer a question with, "Because I said so"
You send money to PBS.
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
You take a metal detector to the beach.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You know what the word "equity" means.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You got cable for the weather channel. ("Old Folks MTV")
You can go bowling without drinking.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

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TOP 10 SLOGANS REJECTED BY MOTEL 6

10. Because you deserve better than the back-seat of some car.
 9. As seen on COPS.
 8. If we'd known you were staying all night, we'd have changed the sheets.
 7. Not just for nooners anymore.
 6. You rented the room, now buy the video.
 5. Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but then you wouldn't have money left over for ...
 4. We'll leave the Lysol for ya.
 3. Hey, we're not the Ritz, but just try taking your secretary there on your salary, pal.
 2. Official lodging of the 1999 Florida Marlins.
 1. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art since 1962